my new tattoo

just need to get paid

in this too, she was right

"song for a blue guitar," red house painters

when everything we felt failed
and some music soft in distant sails
but it don't sound like it did before
then i know i'm left with nothing more
than my own soul
when pretty pictues face back
but your coats aren't
hanging on the rack
and blue water turns to
a place that i can't get to
a place that i can't
in a room all i feel
is the cold that you left
through the air all i see
is your face full of blame
what's left to see
what's there to see

in the room all i feel
is the cold that you left
through the air all i see
is your face full of blame
what's left to see
what's there to see
what's left to see

"gazebo," owen

alone on a train, you're running towards (or maybe away from) a reason to wake each morning.
your thoughts again drift to us and what we have (or haven't) become.
your head shakes and you think, "never again."
it's true what they say about fools who leave too soon --
they don't ever really move on.
you put your hand in you bag.
you pull out the carver book you grabbed before leaving.
it's then you realize, "in this, too, she was right."
you make an excuse.
you make up a lie.
you sell what's left of your soul like the best friend you just sold to sleep easy at night.
it's true what they say about fools who speak too soon --
they don't ever really know what they're getting into (or out of).
you're on your way with the taste of blood from a bitten tongue.
you're in need of some new teeth that won't cave in.

three days

i give myself three days to feel better or else i'll drive right off a fucking cliff because if can't learn to make myself better how can i expect anyone else to give a SHIT.

"if winter ends," bright eyes

jet black

I'll be quiet to keep you quiet.
Don't concern yourself with my slow dying.
Through the vents I hear you sigh.
I don't get too high these days.
Your floor is my ceiling.
Lights out, you can't come in.
If you don't remind me, I won't forget you.
If you don't ask, I won't upset you.
I am jet black.
I am stone cold.
Jet black to the center.
Funny like a funeral.
I need you to bury me.
White noise in black room dust.
These hands long for one last touch.
Hourglass all out of trust.
I don't scratch so I won't itch.
I don't reach so I won't miss.
I taste our last kiss.
This is the cure: the same as the symptom.
Simple and pure: break to keep fixing.
Patiently nurse, patient and nurse.
This is the part I wouldn't show you.
The part where you say, "I don't even know you."
This is your cue.
Be glad it's through.

one more lesson via my itunes shuffle's psychic abilities

"a lesson to remember," small brown bike:
"You see your kids born and they see us die. This cycle, it isn't perfect. Sometimes you see them and die. This cycle never stops. It is a lesson, a memory. How much can you remember? The more you remember, the more it hurts. We spend half of our lives living with each other and the other half is to remember or cope with a loss. I can't do this myself. We are forced to see this. Untie me and let me close my eyes. When they're gone, where do I stand? To deal with both life and loss would push me to the edge. Brothers and sisters come together to console each other, their father or mother. When it's time, let's all fall hand in hand peacefully. Closeness and each other, A lesson to remember."

listen here.

some lessons for today

"can't think of turning back clocks, can't run for what has been lost and we can't sulk in what once drowned us, 'cause we will drown again

and cease to win the constant battles that we wake up with. now stronger and warned, we should live without scorn and renew what we can.

no year could cut us like that one
if we don't sit and drown in wonder.
time passed, we failed, we crashed,
but who's to say we can't start over?

start now, start right,
stay strong, stay tight,
and we can rise side by side"
- "where we belong," hot water music

"why don't we plant a mechanic virus and erase the memory of the machines that maintain this capitalist dynasty?
and yes, i recognize the irony that the system i oppose affords me the luxury of biting the hand that feeds.
but that's exactly why priviledged fucks like me should feel obliged to whine and kick and scream- until everyone has everything they need."
- "resisting tyrannical government," propaghandi

"but how could they do this to me?
born head first and brought up ankle deep.
and maybe you're a lot like me - identified for 14 years without a choice.
terrified the morning you woke up and realized that if and when you jump ship,
you either swim for shore or drown. don't let the fuckers drag you down."
- "i was a preteen mccarthyist," propagandhi

running start

"Yeah, well, I can't stand that look on your face
Because I know you put it there...
Why don't you get your running start, it fears you just like I do
I know you're tired, I know, but what if this was the last day on earth?"

piebald, "fat and skinny asses"