circling the wagons

last day in new hampshire was pretty epic. up early for breakfast with the family, then the drive up to bretton woods. stuck to main roads since i knew they'd be clear... west side road to 16 through intervale then across 302. went by attitash and it was packed.

got to bretton woods around 10:30. left my hard gear in brooklyn so i had to rent. finally got up the lift and got my first run in of the year. i hated my boots and the board was too small... made it tough to deal with the lack of coverage and natural hits, but felt great anyway. mountain was mobbed by skiiers and families, as usual, but i got a ton of runs in since i was alone. took a quick break for a slim jim and went up for more. right after i headed down i got cut off by a skiier and fell hard on my back. packed it in.

kept going west on 302, towards cannon. cannon was open, but bare, but imposing as ever. by far my favorite mountain when there's brand new snow. hit 93 and went by the old man in the mountain, or where he used to be. made me sad. my parents used to take me up there when i was young.

stopped off for lunch at truant's in woodstock. used to eat there years ago when i live at loon. was as good as i remember.

made it home to wakefield in time for dinner. my mom was making pizza and pasta and invited my aunt and uncles over. adam came too. we all got full and some of us got a little drunk. i feel asleep at 10.

got up early and took my dad's yoga class. he's got a new studio that he teaches out of and it was good to see the new digs. fancy. we did mostly leg work and it helped because i am hurting from riding.

had brunch with my aunt and adam, spent the rest of today in pjs, eating and getting ready for the week. finally watched the pats get smoked and my dad put up the tree for the first time in years.

need to be up early, get a jump on things.

dream

- chris degnan, subway, trouble with the police, got a new lawyer
- girls fighting for my attention on the same train, one an old coworker at credit suisse

my m.o.

pointing out the ridiculous.

"Cultivate the ability to see the ridiculous, and to retain the ability to laugh. For, know--only in those that God hath favored is there the ability to laugh, even when clouds of doubt arise, or when every form of disturbance arises. For, remember, the Master smiled--and laughed, oft--even on the way to Gethsemane."

edgar cayce

truant's taverne

haven't been here in 9 years...

the valedictorian sandwich was as good as i remember.

woodstock, nh.

live free or die

made it up to freedom, nh for thanksgiving. my parents are visiting my brother in los angeles. work was too crazy to go. luckily they had room and took us in up here.

made it up just after the fog burned off the lake. clear skies, still lake, reflecting the mountains back up. ate and drank myself to sleep in my uncle's leather recliner.

woke to snow today. tried to make it to bretton woods but i got stuck in the snow on rte. 302 just past cathedral ledge. had to head back to town to hit some stores and the pub.

will try again tomorrow, then back to boston for the rest of the weekend.

needed this.

more crazy dreams

dream:
- store, eyeglasses
- clerk and shopgirl
- angelique
- jim joly, party
- concert, festival
- weird tents, booths, trailers
- aimee pastors wanting to reconcile
- brooke, dan, aaron
- aaron's girl, marisa, fight
- leaving, mall, shipping package
- lodi and hope
- trying to get to work, gay

IM from the past

yet more dreams:

yet more dreams:

• los angeles, drivng w/ jon
• coke w/ brooke
• kramer's big dick
• wakefield garage?

poem fragment, on acela

dark tragedies of woonsocket, pawtucket, providence
empty warehouse shells by the tracks
blurring by my window
while i slur a beer and scotch
150 miles an hour
away from my past

circling the wagons
around me and mine
hunkering down,
waiting out the frost
taking these lessons
to hibernate with me

more dreams:

more dreams:

• ocean resort with leslie and family, flying, lost
• hiking, mountains, with dave grois, lost
• canada trip with leslie, newbury comics, family drama, oprah,
• apartment buildings, boston car
• apartment dream, roomate drama, joe torre as cop
• new years eve dream, city, jenn tsang, boat, city
• sex worker / amusement ride
• high school, gerbils
• dance troop: cause co-motion!

dreams:

dreams:

snowboarding

• early season
• learning tricks
• new board

brian fox birthday

• old estranged friends
• sitting next to erik
• aimee there

family dinner / newbury comics

• ciriglianos and pastores eating dinner
• same building as newbury comics superstore
• meeting jess there for my birthday
• sim city toy presents, tatoo
• evil dave iverson
• mine shaft transportation system
• back down to dinner
• jill eating prime rib
• my dad and big chief there, zack
• we plead to bring chief home, but can't

catching little league classic

end of a fucked up year

"no year could cut us like that one..."
- hot water music, "it's hard to know"



circling the wagons, hunkering down for the holidays and the end of the year.

counting lessons learned, making this year stick.

end of a year

I don't like parties
They avoid the truth
People lying
In search of a good time
We smile avoid
Unpleasant situations
Put it off, maybe
It will go away

Come together, divide by ages
We're always talking though
But nothing changes
It's the end of a year...
There's another one coming

There will be no victory
No progress made
If we do not stand apart
From the enemy
Oh weak foundations
That we've laid
Melt with the years
You are nothing

We don't move forward
But away
We distance ourselves from
Our history
We justify it with
cheap cliches
We're just scared of dying

Words are not enough

it's working already

my chinese horoscope for today:

"At work, you'll be efficient and determined to carry through what you've decided. Beware of the level of fat in your blood: Eat very light, avoid butter and fatty dishes, eat barbecued fishes of all kinds as well as raw vegetables. Be disposed to take the first steps. You'll be in full possession of your means and capable of achieving great things."

fucked up dreams

i am at some kind of work function like a workshop or all-day session, pitching clients in a hotel / store amalgam. i am feverishly making decks for the presentations, including one for a client who openly dislikes my company. at some point, one of our clients brings backk a laptop they had borrowed, which i open to discover porn playing loudly. this startles many of our clients and the random customers who are now shopping in the store.

i am driving driving back to boston in an enormous tractor trailer. at first driven by a young attractive girl with glasses and dark hair, then by a hispanic man. the highway is crowded with traffic and we barey escape an accident. the truck is equipped with a refeuling apparatus in the center that let's us gas up on the fly. the cab smells like gas.

i am home, a successful artist. son of a famous deranged artist mother. she is clearly on drugs / insane / possessed. she begins acting erratically - at first hysterical and childlike, then attacking me and incuring self-inflicted injuries to her face, which swells and distorts into a grotesque mask. i yell and sob and plead with her to stop and realize my art is some kind of coping mechanism. i wake myself up yelling out loud.

i am sketching a sarah palin halloween costume. she is holding a new baby, but the umbilical chord is still intact. they are both dressed as nuns or pilgrims, but the baby has a pink plastic bag over its face.

tired, fighting off a cold

victory beers and shots last night. victory burg with old friends. home early to prepare for the day.

in bed early but fitful sleep. bad dreams.

up on time for a cold run in the rain. leaves are down now.

i am optimistic, but there is so much work left to do.

someone told me this today

from blue crane:

"When you battle with your conscience and lose, you win."
-Henny Youngman, comedian and violinist (1906-1998)

making it happen

chinese horoscope:

"You'll feel more apt to communicate with others and very motivated to carry out your professional and social ambitions. Concern yourself more with your family, particularly with your children. You can count on your long-time friends. You'll tend to indulge in some food excesses; take better care of your life hygiene, do exercises and sports. This time the wheel of Fortune will turn to your favor; you'll be successful in everything!"

best 'fridge decoration

ever

victory beer

victory beer in my patriotic rebel glass.

thanks patty!

F a marathon